Summer pt.4 – Silence moving forward

Dear readers,

I’ve been soaking in old tv shows, been keeping track of the latest news, focused on my internship, attended several parties and creative events, but I’ve haven’t lost the practice of silence.

My parents are arriving today. They are coming all the way from Florence to see and spend time with me. Probably this will be the last time we’ll see each other while being still a college student. I will try to make these upcoming weeks the best that my family and I have lived together. This time last year I was very happy, my mom and dad really were too. However, I was confused. I was mesmerized by all the blessings that I was receiving and I was always questioning if I could deserved all the beautiful things that I was getting. I was questioning my worth, all the time. I was loving, but I was not sure if I was loved back. I didn’t know how to love while being confused, no matter how innocent and pure my heart was – is. I didn’t know what I wanted to get out of college, no matter how many inspirations and support I had – have.

I was sure of one thing: I wanted to see new places, to get out of college, and write, and read, and try new activities. That’s why I went to Miami, Rio, San Juan, and LA. That’s why I came back to writing and concluded my Creative Writing credits all in one year. That’s why I’ve been reading so many books, and tried new activities – big thanks to LA, everybody seems so fit and healthy over there: very inspiring!

Although it’s still a mish-mash, I can finally say that I feel the storm has passed. I’ve distanced myself from toxic behaviors, dry thoughts, and negative people. Instead of storming out and be pissed, I’ve mastered my silence, my patience, my being myself, unapologetically. The results? Well… I can’t jinx it yet! But one thing is sure, and no more doubts on that: I love myself and I won’t question my love ever again. I will recognize my mistakes, I will come up with solutions, and I will always rely on gut. By doing that I will never miss anything out, lose any opportunities, nor have hard time in finding good vibes and motivation.

I think I will take a brief MIA for a bit. I don’t want to share all this excitement all at once. The second of part of 2019 is going to be really good. Not the best, but the preparation of something that might come out as “the best”.

Hopefully my writing will be back more solid and informative.

Hopefully I will be always me.

Hopefully, no: I will!

Enjoy your holidays. Enjoy today.

I will make sure to enjoy my days with my parents and the people who love me.

Bjs,

thecurlyflower

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