Last 11/10/2018 my dad was visiting me in Manhattan. He came to New York because he had work to do at the NY Botanical Garden in the Bronx and in addition to that he was missing me.
Since my first year of college November brutally hits me: there’s Thanksgiving, a both controversial and warm holiday that is supposed to be spent with your family. I have no family in the US, so for me seeing people close to their relatives or closest friends has me a bit down, not gonna lie, because I miss my people. And it’s that time that is beginning to look like Christmas, a festivity that has always made me feel either super excited or extremely bored. And baby, it’s cold outside. I shiver all the time. Ugh, the cold.
Anyways, I spent that weekend with babbo and did some catch ups. But on Saturday morning I said to him I had to go in SoHo for a job. We met later at TGIFridays in front of Penn Station. He had never been there and he was so happy to be there for some reason. As a man, it took him ten minutes to realize I had changed some visuals.
“I tuoi capelli! Oddio!“
Yeah, I has cut them all, all those curls chopped off.
And babbo didn’t ask why. He just kept eating his fries and smiling. Ho only said that he was happy to see me like that, because a big change was eventually about to come. I said I wanted to focus on my skin, the school, but I was sad in New York, I wanted to feel loved, to feel important, to be in the right place. He just smiled and said: “Eh vabbe’ una cosa alla volta. Intanto amata, importante e al posto giusto gia’ ci sei.” I’ll leave you guys with the curiosity to translate those words.
The first person to see my haircut was not my dad, though. Soon after the DevaCurl salon I had sent a picture to Alyssa, who promptly answered me with a positive feedback.
I spent the whole day with babbo. That month was terrible, cold, and just sad. Even after adding a totally new hairstyle, I was feeling empty and out of place on campus, in New York, in the world. It was just terrible, but after six months a lot has changed. Gradually, but a lot happened inside me. And my curls are growing.
Getting rid off the dependency of my looks, specifically of my bouncing golden curls, has been hard. I forced myself to dig the deepest parts of my intellect, figuring out my identity, breaking up unresolved delicate issues, and resurfacing old passions of mine, including screenwriting.
Cutting my hair gave me the chance to explore my inner beauty in the most desperate and lonely moments In this atmosphere I had all the necessary time to understand what I had under control, what I could enjoy on a daily basis, and how to survive with only myself under such tense feelings.
I do miss my big hair, sure. But I know those curls will be back again, stronger, healthier, and brighter, just as my true self – in constant shaping and every day a little bit more positive and grateful to life.
I’m curious for the next six months.
For the time being all I can do is keeping moisturizing my curls, drinking water, and take care pf my body like a pro.