tea is love, love is tea. I love tea. I love love.
“Love Hurts – buddhist advice for the heartbroken” by Lodro Rinzler is a handy guide that came across in my life with such a perfect timing, which I cannot stress enough.
My heart was broken. Here we are, I’m admitting it black on white, typing it. I got my heart broken by fake friends, lovers, and society. The word “heartbroken” is mistakenly associated to only romantic relationships and that’s wrong. I used to think that you could get your heart truly broken only with bad romantic situations, but life is way more than romanticism.
Way before finding romanticism I’ve experienced losing friendships that were once firm and beautiful. Why did it happen? We’ve outgrown. I moved to other schools. I choose to study more than hooking up. I chose theatre and literature over other activities. Then I went to New York and found a new group of friends, a chosen-family. The moment I got to be me at my fullest potential, I met him. I loved him. He realized later, but I had moved on. In the meantime I had found home. And love in this home, on all surfaces.
Note: I like to think that love is like a home, more than just sex, kisses, and caring acts: home is like… everything. When you got a roof over your head you don’t know how lucky you are… big facts!
I had found my home in a friend, in a city, in a community. I gave love, I felt love, it was heaven. Then it happened: I was not heaven for them. It’s not like I wanted more, but I was feeling I was not enough because I wasn’t feeling the words I maybe needed to hear, the motivation I was looking for, the comfort I had always longed for.
So my heart got broken. I couldn’t see how relevant I could be again. Should I call it a “life” and die? Maybe. But I didn’t. Months later after this horrific thought I saw what was going on in front of me. Lovers got new partners, friends followed the clout, society went on on its principles. I was feeling alone, just an observer. Everybody and everything goes on: what am I doing?
Thanks to podcasts, travels, personal writing, music, and me just being me (just be you. i can’t stress this enough. that’s how you learn to be comfortable in the world), and many readings, I’ve found a fresh and rich company by being all by myself. During this time I narrowed my interests, discovered new lifestyles, and grabbed back my oldest and most personal passions – writing, reading, swimming.
Yeah, ok but what is this book really about, G? You can find the reviews online. I’m going to share some of the best phrases that made me find home within myself. While reading this book, I’ve been sipping lots of tea. Between study breaks, before going to bed, in the early morning. My love for tea is real. So is my love then.
This book felt like a friend, in a moment that I needed to be alone in order to figure out that nothing is wrong within me. In a moment when, despite my will to live, I feel sometimes that my life is meaningless. In a moment that I’ve found and I’m constructing my purpose.
Maybe those were the words I needed to hear. For sure, like the purest form of love I’ve given so far, these words came across in my life and were meant to be in my existence. Maybe reading this book pushed me further into my purpose: being me, at my fullest.
- we feel discomfort and pain, and our response is to say that our heart is breaking, because ur set notion of who we are and what our world is supposed to look like has been shattered.
- our fantasies, our fairy tales, our stories that we tell ourselves that all seem so, so real – those are the things that break. and that is what causes us pain.
- for love to last, it is best not to have too many expectations. It is better just to offer love.
- deep heartbreak is traumatic; it shocks the system and your body needs sleep in order to heal from it.
- (under the section) not giving up on anybody – they can still connect the goodness inside of them and change for the better… let your heart soften toward them over time.
- we can just rest with our loneliness and feelings of rejection.
- we can just love. If love doesn’t come back to you, it is still love that you give and that you feel. If you gave someone a gift and they died, would the gift no longer exist?
- you do not need to feel ashamed for leaning on people, for public displays of emotion, or being who you are.
- don’t give up on life.
- it’s okay to feel angry.
- we are always creating society. I’m saying this to make it clear that the more we realize how we participate in creating society and the more positive stones we throw, the bigger those ripples might become.
This book made me feel more at ease with my own person. I’m glad to have given myself time to build a safe space where I can feel company in my lonely time. It’s richer and healthier to embark a self-healing process exclusively with yourself before jumping to interact with the outside world. People change and don’t at the same time. So take time, for yourself, please. And keep loving. I still do. I’m smiling right now. For me.
Alexa, play Teenage Fantasy by Jorja Smith.
Thank you Lodro,