What should I write?
I have so many things to put out there, I really do. But in 2018 I learned that there’s no use to say multiple things at once. I value democracy, but I believe hierarchy and a few rules are needed to shape your existence.
I cut my hair.
Yeah, I kinda did that. And those are the reasons – all with the same essence but delivered in different ways, depending on with whom I am talking to:
- Instagram/Twitter followers (lowkey you don’t give a damn f*** about me, but you want to know me cause you say “you inspire me”. Do I really inspire you, Britney? You say it now, then you’ll forget me soon. I shouldn’t be that bitter. I’m a chill person so I’ll answer to you anyways. I’ll be sincere but I won’t spill many details.) – I cut my hair cause it was damaged. And I wanted to change. It will grow, I’m not worried. I miss it sometimes, but now I want to focus on other things. I can save lots of money too on beauty products, they last longer. It’s a nice change. Too short, you say? Not of your business, that length was good for me. Yes, I got inspired by a couple of models and young women, here’s their profile. I know, they look perfect and awesome. No, I am so not like them. Well, if you say so. Ok.
- Facebook friends (mostly family members or people I haven’t seen in ages) – *just likes the comment. hearts it if it comes from a dear person. but sorry, we haven’t seen in ages, I mostly am on Instagram now and I’ve changed a lot. I’m still sweet, but a lot of things happened and if you wanna keep it up you should give it a read on my blog. but I appreciate your comment, I know you’re a good one. no Marco, you’re not. you made fun of me in high school and now you have second thoughts on me. too late, buddy*
- Women/Men in the workplace – (It’s called being polite or small talk. You don’t care about the real reason. Maybe you do, but that will come if the conversation lasts longer than three minutes) – I wanted to change *smiles and suffocates the other reasons*
- Those good friends (those 4/5 people who somehow love me but like why? you really are something) – I know it will grow, don’t’ worry. You miss my curls as I miss them too, not gonna lie. But I needed something new.
- Mom and Dad (I love you) – I cut it at DevaCurl in SoHo. It was my money. *literally adds no more*
- Myself (cause I literally speak to myself) – What happens if I rely less on my image? Will they still like me?
I cut my hair on November 10th 2018. Right now my hair is braided – blue braids, yes. It’s still too early to say how I personally feel about my decision, but I am enjoying this new phase – aesthetically speaking. Given the extremely hard and painful past semester, I physically was unable to perform my favorite activities – gym, modeling, dancing. However, I managed to get a pause from such a cold city as New York in another country, where I renewed my vows on how to I want to live my 20s.
I will definitely write more about my hair.
At least, after tons of weeks, I got the courage to type 10% of my thoughts.
More poems are coming. Or short stories. It’s still a mambo jumbo.