My challenge this month was to be more positive, think and say nice things to myself every day. In a hard and hectic time like this academic semester, I tried to focus on my mental health with all the tools and the time I could use. Did I succeed? Partly. Am I happy with the results? Partly.
April opens up with Fools Day, which pretty much describes my life. “Who needs April Fools when your whole life is a joke?”, I would repeat to myself on a daily basis, especially that specific day. However, this year it turned out to be a good day, which marked the start of a new chapter in my life, as a young strong independent woman.
Days went on, and less than a week after the world of pop music dropped out life lessons through beats and notes. On April 6th heartbreaking Drake, iconic Cardi B, and soulful Kali Uchis released such empathic songs that gave young women life and zest. They might be just a temporary trend, but they indeed shaped my character. The words, the themes and the energy they carried on helped me realize how as a young woman of color in a draining and hectic city like New York can survive. I can’t be “nice” for people who don’t see any values in me. Nobody has the right to “invade” my sexual privacy, no matter what my choices are. And I should keep “isolating” myself from time to time in order to know myself in the best and deepest way as possible.
4/20 apparently is the day when people smoke and celebrate weed relentlessly. I didn’t join this herd, but I remember having my own calming retreatment: hanging out with my best friends, dancing, chatting, eating, spending the best time with them. After many days of solitary contemplation on school and life, I was able to enjoy people’s company. I was capable of this because I had spent some extensive time on just myself, and that was the perfect moment to reconnect with reality. On a day when people try to escape from reality, I did just the opposite: I inhaled life, its dynamics, scents, and fates.
If there’s something that I’ve learned and finally comprehended from these last few weeks is that the only person who can actually help yourself is indeed yourself. Tons of gurus, bloggers, magazines, and studies offer a huge variety of solutions to overcome problems. In my opinion, any kind of problem has a specific pattern of solutions. However, difficulties in life can be so riddled and tricky that a person might find complications in searching for a general cure. For this reason, it is necessary to make some space for some personal quality time, when mind and body can find their own kind of fuel.
I say I “partly” succeeded in reaching out my objectives because I spent a lot of time just thinking about myself, which really helped me a lot in making life choices, both on an academic and personal level. Nevertheless, I let slide some of my chores that now I must pick up again. Even though I feel recharged, doing this kind of treat-yourself-session in a time where school and other activities demand tons of energy might not be the smartest decision. But no matter what, be selfish.
Take time and space for yourself, any moment you feel the need to. You might find your 4/6 and believe me, it can be a revelation.
the curly flower