Posing for the camera as a form of expression

The afternoon I had homework

April 2014. High school time was quite tiring back then. Difficult classmates, severe professors, demanding quantity of homework. Written and oral tests about to come up. As one would imagine, a typical anxious and diligent student like me was feeling pretty overwhelmed. Spring in Florence is lovely. The weather is generally warm. The sky is bright, the days are getting longer, and the air smells of seasonal flowers.

I remember myself being extremely stressed over some homework I was trying to finish. I don’t recall what the exact subject was, but probably I was dealing with something really complicated like Latin or Math. Through the window in my bedroom, I could see the clear and vibrant sky, tempting me to leave every chore and go outside. That sky was so beautiful, and I couldn’t stay anymore over the books. The temptation won. I called my friend Isa and asked her if I could go to her house.

Isa was the kind of girl who was always there for people when they needed her and would always welcome each of her friends in her place. Back then I admired her lifestyle so much. I never had the chance to be free like her during my high school years due to my strict father and personal behavior. However, despite the huge amount of fun I had with her, when I was around her I felt I was still in school. The school of life. She gave me so many life lessons. Talking about boys, friendships, family. Isa was a trendy friend, but also a cool teacher in her own way.

I reached Isa at her place and together we went to her friend’s house, a big, marvelous house that overlooked all of Florence. Isa, her friend and another boy who joined us later had decided to meet up for a photoshoot.

Why are you guys taking pictures?

It’s for our Facebook profile picture.”

I looked at them skeptically. Why would someone waste their time to take professional pictures for a social media photo profile? What’s the fun? The girls were looking for locations, smiling, having fun. The boy was taking pictures and he seemed to have fun too. I was just standing out of the scene holding Isa’s friend’s dog. I was feeling both left out and awkward in watching them.

Do you want to take a picture too?

No, I look horrible. I’m not dressed well.”

“Don’t say that. Give it a shot, come on.”

One minute later I was sitting on the grass, next to a tree trunk, and trying to smile at the camera lens. A couple of weeks later that photo would become my new Facebook profile picture.

When I went back home that afternoon I thought how fun it was actually taking outdoor pictures while hanging out with friends. It was so nice to make those moments memorable, with the mere presence of a camera.

The Roman tradition

June 2014. I went to Rome alone for the first time visiting my friends Chiara and her sister Flavia. I had the time of my life wandering around Balduina, spending time watching movies, listening to music, dancing, and taking pictures.

One day, Chiara, Flavia, and I were alone in their home. From their spacious balcony, we could spot the candid clouds and the cerulean sky. Chiara grabbed her mother’s camera and started taking pictures. Flavia and I started casually posing for her, making funny faces and just laughing. Then, as a game, I started to pose as a model in front of the camera. I wasn’t feeling awkward. I was having fun. I was with the best company that I could have, and I was appreciating my figure. For the first time ever, I started liking photoshoots with my friends. I never posted or showed those photos to many people. I was just enjoying them as a remembrance of the fun that I had been having with my friends.

The fall and rise

February 2015. Just before my 18th birthday, I did a photo shoot in Florence with Isa and two other girls. I was all dressed up for the occasion. I did the makeup by myself and put a simple outfit together. It was both pretty formal and elegant.

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Friends, love, family ❤ #myclassybirthdayparty

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After the time I went to Rome, I decided not to be in any more photos. I was dealing with too many worries inside my head, and my self-esteem was decreasing more and more. Plus, I had cut my hair very short, changed the color, and I was still not very confident in showing it off, especially in front of a camera.

When I moved to college in New York, my personality abruptly changed. People were always telling me how much my hair was so different and trendy, unique and great. For this reason, I gradually changed the perception of myself and started being more confident in my look.

My spirits lifted again when I met Coco, one of my dearest friends who spent a year in New York City. One day, Coco decided to cheer me up by inviting me to her place, eating some Italian food, and hanging out in the city. Coco is an amateur photographer, and I was her model whenever she needed a person. She taught me the basics of photography, modeling, and blogging. Two Italians in New York, sharing the American dream, with its struggles and downsides. Again, I had fun. And this time I was thinking to turn that fun into something constructive and real.

It was then that I thought about blogging and modeling.

The future

What the blog could be about? Am I good enough to model? Do I have the strength to do it?

My passions are writing and acting. In addition to that, I like expressing myself through poems, featuring my own photos and drawings. I believe that in this way I learn to appreciate myself and constantly discover new skills that I possess. Modeling helps me too because it’s a way to visually represent my own figure. From a single image, a lot of things can transpire. I want to give the best and my true genuine self not only through my writing but also through using images and any other form of art.

As an average college student, I still have to figure out what kind of person I want to be. Forging my personality is going to be a long process, but in the meantime, I decided to enjoy what I would like to do as a profession: sharing my literary passions and positive vibes through words and photos.

And that is the first chapter of @thecurlyflower.

What will happen next?

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